Courage

A good friend of mine and I talked over Facebook yesterday and she suggested I make a list of things I hope will happen in my life. Ive had this disease my entire life and dont know what "life" is really like with out Cushing's. But I KNOW I need this surgery so I can have some sort of chance at a "normal" life.
But this morning, I went to church.

My body said no. My body needed rest. It did not want to get out in the heat. It did not want to walk or climb stares. But I knew that I would not be able to go after surgery for quite some time. The congregation prayed over me and people actually care, even though they have no idea what is wrong. But what surprised me was that a woman stopped me on our way out. Her daughter was told she has a pituitary tumor, has nearly ALL the Cushing's symptoms, and has an endocrinologist that is messing with her. So I told her about Dr. Ludlum and his Cushie Camp and that her daughter needs to get there ASAP! I will be emailing her the info shortly.
Me having this disease has brought, including this woman, 4 people to Dr. Ludlum and closer to getting their lives back. If that is His will, so be it. I will be an ambassador of hope. And Courage. If I can do that, if I can bring others to doctors or at least to knowledge that they have a chance at getting cured, at a normal live, it makes it all worth it.
I hope...

to have children

to direct major motion pictures as well as inde films

to travel the world

to visit all my new, Cushie friends

to work and march for a better future with my comrades

to take Mrs. Zebra out dancing

to get Mrs. Zebra "cured"

to cook huge meals

to mow my own lawn

to have the energy to mod my own car

to feel like my own age

to not be winded by walking from my car to a building

to move to a cooler climate

to be happy

I love the quote in the picture above. There ARE more important things than my fear.
The Weary Zebra

Posted via email from The weary Zebra: Zebra Snippets

Another Rare Day

As tired as I am now, I know it is the price I have to pay for such a fun day yesterday. Dr. Ludlum says I have a variable tumor, that turns on and off when it wants to. My tumor was ON yesterday! We had planned on going to a good friend's graduation dinner but we had not seen a movie in a while. So we decided on a matinee viewing of Robin Hood. Very good, I might add.
But as we headed to the dinner (more like a late lunch), my dad called and wanted my advice on a laptop. I was feeling good so we decided to meet after lunch. The significance of this is that he has never owned a computer before. So we had a great time at the graduation lunch, I ended up soaking myself with crawfish before it was over and the spicy seasoning made my lips (and inner nose) tingle. I went through a pitcher of tea keeping the hot spice at bay but the pain was worth it!

We took my dad to the Apple store, since they are DA BOMB! He will be using this mac for years! He even went to a class this morning about his mac! He also got an air card for his mac to access mobile internet! So proud of him.
But as fun of a day it was, I am paying for it today and in more than one way. I felt like trash as soon as we got home. My dad walks so fast. He wore me out! I felt even worse today, but it was worth it! I just get so SAPPED and drained anymore. But when I have the energy, I try to use it.
I also upset a really good friend yesterday. She shared something that was private that I thought was not as private as it was. I was having such a good time, I didn't see that. She is hurt but hopefully will stay a friend and one day I hope to earn her trust back.
Below are some goofy pics Mrs. Zebra took of me while at Camp Cushie. Just thought I would add them since over all it was a good day yesterday.

The Weary Zebra

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from The weary Zebra: Zebra Snippets

Official Diagnosis and Surgery

Well, I got the call today....

I knew it was important when they called Mrs. Zebra first, and conferenced me in. Kind of like when you are called into the principal's office and your mom is standing there when you walk in the door... yea, that kind of stomach turning nervousness... but I knew what he was going to say. Why so nervous...

I went to the back and Dr. Ludlum got on the line.

His pauses as SOOOO long...

He starts off by asking me how I felt toward the end of the week. Truth be told, I don't remember. Its been a week, and I didn't sleep that week... but I remember it wasn't great, and I was up late against my will, red face, stripes, etc. Apparently, my tumor turned off about Thursday. My dex reaction was high normal. My UFCs from Monday through Wed were 150, 180, 190 (take that OLD PCP DOC!) but my IPSS didnt show anything. Except..

long pause

The tech said he wouldn't trust the numbers if they came out normal. He said my left sinus cavity is way to large, and will throw the numbers off, lowering them. And it did. Made them normal.
Long pause

Then he said that the UFCs should be enough to officially diagnose me. His exact words were, "You have The Cushing's" And my world stopped. My journey for a cure only really started this year and already I have a diagnosis. It is elating, but t the same time I feel guilty that so many others fight for years for it. But he wasn't done. He said he needs a bit more proof. My CT of lungs and abdomen look good, and he wants another Dex test, but wants an Octreotide scan to show any tumors. Kind of proving that it isn't anywhere else!
Now the problem is financing. Our savings is blown, tax return gone. I will get a bit of cash when we go to the convention in early June from our hotel mates, but we might need more. And... Mrs. Zebra cant come that first week. If she did, she would miss surgery because she would have to go back to work. And the Inn, while less expensive than a hotel, costs us more in rent for two weeks. So we ask for prayers and if you have any donations you would like to give, I will be attaching a paypal button on the blog. Its easy and you can use a credit card or checking account. Anything is appreciated.

So, here we go again....

Posted via email from The weary Zebra: Zebra Snippets

The Zebra Wife has something to say!

Here is the misses and her comment on Camp Cushie. Enjoy!

The Weary Zebra

Posted via email from The weary Zebra: Zebra Snippets

Cushie Camp Day 5

Here is the conclusion of my trip to Dr. Ludlum's Camp Cushie. I do have one more video from that week to post in relation to Cushing's, but I will have to do that tonight/tomorrow. For now, here is Day 5. S

The Weary Zebra

Posted via email from The weary Zebra: Zebra Snippets