I wrote and mailed this letter in to Governor Pro-tem Inslee and emailed his campaign. Hopefully, he can pull some strings to help us.
Letter to the new Governor!
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 8:31 PM 0 commentsI wrote and mailed this letter in to Governor Pro-tem Inslee and emailed his campaign. Hopefully, he can pull some strings to help us.
Falling Apart
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 10:55 PM 1 commentsIm so depressed, it is getting harder and harder to get up in the morning. Not wake up, but to get out of bed. I just got out of sinus surgery on Monday. Turns out I had a fungal infection from the pituitary surgery 2 years ago. If we were still in Texas, I wouldn't have had the surgery. You have to be homeless to qualify for aid down there, and if you are homeless, you dont really count. Im still fighting disability, but they are relentless. Even DSHS (Dept of Social and Health Services) wants documents that either dont exist, or they have in their position already. But that is the deal. They grind you down. But today is the last day of my Charity Care at Swedish Medical Center. Maybe I will be able to get it again, but they said its not likely. They dont help indigent people or something.
Mrs. Zebra is cracking through the stress and depression. Im afraid she might leave me soon if something doesn't change. I guess I dont blame her. I am pretty worthless at this point. There used to be a significant section of my day devoted on figuring out what I could do for her next. Now, I cant do anything for her. I cant do anything to help our situation. Im helpless and hopeless. And alone.
The Very Weary and Depressed Zebra
1 year post op: kick me while Im down why dont you?
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 6:54 PM 13 commentsThey want me to ween by 2.5mg a week, which is very slow. But last time I tried weening I ended up in the ER each time. I probably should have been in the ER last Thursday but I hadnt thrown up my stress dose (thanksAdrienne Brandstetter) and thats usually the point in which I go. What do you experts think? I know 20mg/day is high but if it is the tumor doing this, is weening off the steroids really that smart?
Dejected
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 1:18 PM 4 commentsWhat a day.
I went to my 2 month check up on Monday. I had two doc appointments and a battery of blood tests. I got the results yesterday. Most of the results I was ready for. I am extremely low in all my hormones: Testosterone, prolactin, Growth Hormone. I was prepared for that. These things are fixable. Or at least I thought they were. What I was surprised at is my cortisol is still higher than it needs to be. They want to retest, but cant until I am completely weened off the steroids. That should happen within a few weeks. They warned me I was an oddball case. Im not worrying over the cortisol as much. Im worried about the other hormones right now. Without Testosterone, I dont have the energy or motivation I need, and the lack of it kills my bones. The GH will also make me feel better and help my mussels rebuild. I cant have the GH yet because my sugar was high the day of the test. I had been out of my meds for a few days and coupled with stress, didn't help my sugar. So they want proof it is ok. Plus, if I DO have a tumor still, or even just tumor cells, the GH will make them grow faster. I was going to get the Testosterone perception, but that might kill my chances to have children. The docs suggested I see a reproductive specialist to get other hormones that can boost my testosterone. The problem with this is that out of all the reproductive doctors I have talked to, most do not deal with men, and the rest just tell me to go back to my endo. I HATE doctors here! So Im stuck. I dont know what to do. I was hoping I would stain deficient because I could get meds that way, but I cant get any meds. I am beginning to think surgery was a bad idea. The Weary, Dejected, ZebraCourage
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 6:25 PM 4 commentsA good friend of mine and I talked over Facebook yesterday and she suggested I make a list of things I hope will happen in my life. Ive had this disease my entire life and dont know what "life" is really like with out Cushing's. But I KNOW I need this surgery so I can have some sort of chance at a "normal" life.
But this morning, I went to church.
Me having this disease has brought, including this woman, 4 people to Dr. Ludlum and closer to getting their lives back. If that is His will, so be it. I will be an ambassador of hope. And Courage. If I can do that, if I can bring others to doctors or at least to knowledge that they have a chance at getting cured, at a normal live, it makes it all worth it.
I hope... to have children to direct major motion pictures as well as inde films to travel the world to visit all my new, Cushie friends to work and march for a better future with my comrades to take Mrs. Zebra out dancing to get Mrs. Zebra "cured" to cook huge meals to mow my own lawn to have the energy to mod my own car to feel like my own age to not be winded by walking from my car to a building to move to a cooler climate to be happy I love the quote in the picture above. There ARE more important things than my fear.
The Weary Zebra
Official Diagnosis and Surgery
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 2:57 PM 1 commentsWell, I got the call today....
I knew it was important when they called Mrs. Zebra first, and conferenced me in. Kind of like when you are called into the principal's office and your mom is standing there when you walk in the door... yea, that kind of stomach turning nervousness... but I knew what he was going to say. Why so nervous... I went to the back and Dr. Ludlum got on the line. His pauses as SOOOO long...
He starts off by asking me how I felt toward the end of the week. Truth be told, I don't remember. Its been a week, and I didn't sleep that week... but I remember it wasn't great, and I was up late against my will, red face, stripes, etc. Apparently, my tumor turned off about Thursday. My dex reaction was high normal. My UFCs from Monday through Wed were 150, 180, 190 (take that OLD PCP DOC!) but my IPSS didnt show anything. Except..
long pauseThe tech said he wouldn't trust the numbers if they came out normal. He said my left sinus cavity is way to large, and will throw the numbers off, lowering them. And it did. Made them normal.
Long pause
Then he said that the UFCs should be enough to officially diagnose me. His exact words were, "You have The Cushing's" And my world stopped. My journey for a cure only really started this year and already I have a diagnosis. It is elating, but t the same time I feel guilty that so many others fight for years for it. But he wasn't done. He said he needs a bit more proof. My CT of lungs and abdomen look good, and he wants another Dex test, but wants an Octreotide scan to show any tumors. Kind of proving that it isn't anywhere else!
Now the problem is financing. Our savings is blown, tax return gone. I will get a bit of cash when we go to the convention in early June from our hotel mates, but we might need more. And... Mrs. Zebra cant come that first week. If she did, she would miss surgery because she would have to go back to work. And the Inn, while less expensive than a hotel, costs us more in rent for two weeks. So we ask for prayers and if you have any donations you would like to give, I will be attaching a paypal button on the blog. Its easy and you can use a credit card or checking account. Anything is appreciated.
So, here we go again....
The Zebra Wife has something to say!
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 5:56 PM 0 commentsCushie Camp Day 5
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 6:40 AM 0 commentsCamp Cushie Day Three and Four
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 7:13 PM 0 commentsCamp Cushie: Day Two
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 7:06 PM 0 commentsCamp Cushie: Day One
Posted by The Weary Zebra at 12:53 AM 4 commentsDay 1: Rough Shot over the Bow
I am still working on the VLOG, and it will have better info than I do now. Day one was rough. Whatever you do, if you come, go shopping in a TAXI! Dont take the bus for groceries! Lugging $70 WORTH OF $40 grocery all over downtown was not fun. Especially with a picc line in your arm. Im doing blood work every 4 hrs, and I met with Dr. L yesterday. He is SOOOO cool! His staff is great and the staff at Cherry Hill is the best! They are so friendly and funny. Im sleepy now, but I did a 15min vlog at midnight that is much better and has more info.


