Well, thanks for reading my blog. Im kind of new to this so please bear with me.
It has come to my attention that I have Cushing's Syndrome. If you dont know what that is, please go to www.cushings-help.com. You will find everything you need to know there. Basically, I have a tumor either in my head or in my adrenal glands that secrews with my hormone levels; specifically cortisol. This causes me to be large, in pain, and tired nearly all day while wired at night. Thankfully today I am wired so maybe I can get some sleep tonight.
I started showing signs of Cushing's when I was between 8 and 10 years old. No one knew it then, so I was not diagnosed then. I started gaining weight, having red and purple stretch marks, loosing mussel strength, joints started to hurt and I was told that all of this was normal. I also started showing signs of asthma around this time. My weight would fluctuate, but steadily go up as I got older no matter how much I worked out or dieted. I started loosing my hair when I was 13, and started growing gray hair about the same time. I was finally diagnosed with asthma when I was 14. Since then, symptoms have gotten worse.
Did I mention the things it does to you mentally? I was always mentally "unstable". I was the shy kid who always got picked on for being fat, but once I started panicking, dont stand in my way. I once threw a desk at a kid for messing with me. Now I can barely lift my back pack. I always had a low self esteem, and would fight with depression on a daily basis.
After working with the Navy for a year and a half, training with them to loose weight, and nearly ending up the hospital from their crazy, no carb diet, I gave up. Im fat, Im gonna die fat. In time, I grew to like being fat, except for the joint pain, the mussel pain, etc. Well, that's gotta be from working out hard the day before, right?
I met my big, beautiful wife in 2004 and we were married in 2005. She was the first to notice my purple stretch marks and say anything about it. I gained even more weight in the year before my wedding, even though we were very poor then and did not have much money for food. A few years after we married, she started having the same pains I had had, but worse and faster. We attributed it to her weight and carried on.
Then, July 3rd, 2009 at 11:30pm, I was sent to the ER with chest pains. They ran EKGs and said my heart was fine, but my BP was high (about 150/100) and my chest hurt like hell! So after 10 hours in the ER, they gave me morphine and the pain went away. The feeling of panic went away, the feeling of being chased went away and I calmed. I was admitted to the hospital for testing right then. By then all I wanted to do was sleep. The doctor there said it looked like I had Cushings and did an MRI but found nothing. So I put it back out of my mind... until just a few weeks ago. I found www.cushings-help.com, and Mary and Robin and everyone there is helping me figure all this out.
Because of that site, we have deduced that my late mother, who died in May of 2009, could have had Cushing's, my wife might have it, and her mother could very well have it. Studies that Dr. Freidman in California have conducted suggest 1 in 4 people have a pituitary tumor. The so called "rare" disorder may not be so rare.
My journey begins, and I hope you all will be along for the ride.
Oh, and why the moniker "The Weary Zebra"? Well, my good friend Robin and a song gave me the idea.
She posted on her daily blog here that Cushies are like zebras. And thinking about how cortisol keeps us up at night, I was reminded of the song by Cage the Elephant called "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" Well, I would call myself wicked, but maybe Weary...
And did I mention, we are going through this in the United States without any kind of medical insurance... the lyrics seem to fit now...
Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked,
Money don't grow on trees,
I got bills to pay,
I got mouths to feed,
There ain't nothing in this world for free.
I know I can't slow down,
I can't hold back
Though you know I wish I could,
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked,
Until we close our eyes for good
Happy 19th Birthday Cushing's Help!
5 years ago
