2.5 mo post op: ugh...

Sorry I have not posted in a while. I've been extremely depressed for weeks now. The lack of growth hormone and testosterone has really done a number on me. I still have no function in my pitutary, at least as far as we can tell. But I am having spikes of cortisol that I can feel, and it sends me into a panic rage. This is consistent with the post op cortisol numbers that never stayed below 1. This means I am still not producing growth hormone, which would give me energy and motivation, as well as help with the aching and stiff mussels, and not making testosterone either, which would help my motivation and depression too. I am taking HCG to make me produce testosterone, but I only see small improvements, none effecting my mental state. This is also week 5 of the third sinus infection I have had since surgery. I'm on my 2nd round of antibiotics and nothing is helping. I'm scared to go to the ENT because last time they sent me to UTSW and they hate me there, prompting them to send me out the door and not filing correctly with insurance and charging me with the full bill. I'm still fighting it. I'm tired of being told I should be better, that I need to fake it, that I just need to get over it. No, I feel miserable, I feel like a giant green blob is inside my nose and lungs, I have not tasted or smelled a damn thing over a month, I can't sleep, and I refuse to take peoples crap anymore. Either there is a tumor somewhere, or my pitutary is freaking out and trying to wake up in spasms. That's what I'm hoping for anyway. I never want another pitutary surgery again...
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